A change is as good as a rest.

It's been 3 months now since I became medication free and I wondered how long it would be before the cracks started to show but I'm not going to crumble...for the last two weeks I have been having mild anxiety attacks and although I have tried very hard to ignore them, they keep coming.

They are nowhere near as bad as I have had in the past, but they can take you off-guard and hinder every day activities.

The "weepy" episodes I was having have subsided and I seem to be managing that side of withdrawal quite well, but this is a new challenge!

For the first time since New Year I have been thinking about a small yellow pill which I know will take it away. A pill that I no longer have in my medicine cabinet, the same cabinet that used to be full of bottles. A pill that I never want to take again but at this moment in time is very much on my mind.

So, the question I ask myself is "what are you going to do about this"?

Well, it is more important than ever that I keep up the exercise and try to extinguish it that way.

Music, as always, a reliable friend...lots of chilled music being downloaded as I speak.

Writing...it's time to scribble away the stress again and I have made a start by posting this.

Breathing...yes it does help to breathe, ha, but I have some exercises that I have used over the years with success.

and lastly and I think the most important line of attack or defence, (which ever way you want to look at it)...A HOLIDAY.

As long as I can find somewhere to get online I will be fine. I speak to Richie every day on messenger or by mail and I would miss him so much if I couldn't contact him for a whole week. That's because I love him.....so

later on this morning I am meeting my mum and we have an appointment at the travel agents and we are going to book it...and guess what?

Mum and her hubby Tom are coming with me!!! I was going to go on my own but we met for lunch yesterday and decided it would be nice if the three of us went.
My girls are with their dad for a week from the 17th April, so they will be having fun too.

I will report back to let you know our destination.

So I have set my coping strategies down in writing.I want to be as relaxed as I possibly can be for when Richie visits in October and not a nervous wreck!

Some of the butterflies in my tummy are to be expected when you fall in love, so I am not going to worry about those....smiles.

Am off now to trawl through the loft to find some summer clothes...hoping to go somewhere warm and peaceful! If I'm not online for a while, please send out a search party...you haven't seen my loft.

"Update"...the holiday is booked and we are flying on Saturday 15th April..to Cyprus for a week. Feeling better already!